ohminegoth:

"Peoples’ Choice Award" is America’s greatest honor.
Styrofoam is not made from kittens.
The U.F.O. was a paper plate.
The nerds on the internet are not geeks.
The word “cheese” is not funny in and of itself.
The older Flanders boy is Todd, not Rod.
Lyndon Johnsons did not provide the voice of Yosemite Sam.
If you are reading this you have no life.
Roy Rogers was not buried inside his horse.
The other U.F.O was an upside-down salad spinner.
Our universities are not “Hotbeds” of anything.
Mr. Dershowitz did not literally have four eyes.
Our viewers are not pathetic food tubes.
Audrey Hepburn never weighed 400 pounds.
The “Cheers” gang is not a real gang.
Salt water does not “chase the thirsties away”.
Licking an electrical outlet will not turn you into a Mighty Morphin Power Ranger.
Cats do not eventually turn into dogs.
Bullets do not bounce off fat guys.
Recycling does not deplete the ozone.
Everything is 10% fruite juice.
The flesh eating virus does not hide in ice cream.
Janet Reno is evil.
V8 fruit juice is 1/8 gasoline.
Ted Koppel is a robot.
Women aren’t from Venus and men aren’t from Mars.
Fleiss does floss.
Quayle is familiar with common bathroom procedures.
Bart is bad to the bone.
Godfry Jones’ wife is cheating on him.
The Beetles haven’t reunited to enter kickboxing competitions.
The “Bug” on your TV screen can see into your home.
Everyone on TV is better than you.
The people who are writing this have no life.
The Simpsons - Season 6 Episode 9 - Homer Badman

ohminegoth:

  • "Peoples’ Choice Award" is America’s greatest honor.
  • Styrofoam is not made from kittens.
  • The U.F.O. was a paper plate.
  • The nerds on the internet are not geeks.
  • The word “cheese” is not funny in and of itself.
  • The older Flanders boy is Todd, not Rod.
  • Lyndon Johnsons did not provide the voice of Yosemite Sam.
  • If you are reading this you have no life.
  • Roy Rogers was not buried inside his horse.
  • The other U.F.O was an upside-down salad spinner.
  • Our universities are not “Hotbeds” of anything.
  • Mr. Dershowitz did not literally have four eyes.
  • Our viewers are not pathetic food tubes.
  • Audrey Hepburn never weighed 400 pounds.
  • The “Cheers” gang is not a real gang.
  • Salt water does not “chase the thirsties away”.
  • Licking an electrical outlet will not turn you into a Mighty Morphin Power Ranger.
  • Cats do not eventually turn into dogs.
  • Bullets do not bounce off fat guys.
  • Recycling does not deplete the ozone.
  • Everything is 10% fruite juice.
  • The flesh eating virus does not hide in ice cream.
  • Janet Reno is evil.
  • V8 fruit juice is 1/8 gasoline.
  • Ted Koppel is a robot.
  • Women aren’t from Venus and men aren’t from Mars.
  • Fleiss does floss.
  • Quayle is familiar with common bathroom procedures.
  • Bart is bad to the bone.
  • Godfry Jones’ wife is cheating on him.
  • The Beetles haven’t reunited to enter kickboxing competitions.
  • The “Bug” on your TV screen can see into your home.
  • Everyone on TV is better than you.
  • The people who are writing this have no life.

The Simpsons - Season 6 Episode 9 - Homer Badman

girl: bae come over
me: BREAK THE TARGETS !!
girl: my parents aren't home
me: BOARD THE PLATFORMS !!

the possibility of a second cold war is kinda spooky but i honestly am not that scared

because if russia does something really stupid they’re basically fucked

smugsbunny:

toastradamus:

watch me swooce right in

image

fallenangelflonne:

kidouyuuto:

very niece

image

I fucking hate back to the barnyard I fucking HATE back to the barnyard. This is the most digusting fucking show I have ever seen pigs are CLEAN animals how fucking DARE you perpetuate that they are dirty I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS. Petition to get this piece of shit show off the air 

mirakurutaimu:

dude we just talked about a Looney Tunes moba
"Dude what the fuck this Tweety Bird just stole my safelane"
"Ugh this idiot fucking Tazmanian Devil rushed Acme Rocket Boots, what a dumbass"
"well this game went to 60 minutes with Foghorn Leghorn, gg…"
"this Sylvester keeps feeding mid"

fucking dipshit road runner didn’t even level meep meep

aestheticcannibal:

Visiting old playlists on Youtube from middle school more like
image

birabu:

relevant

birabu:

relevant

feel the ASS OF AXE
summerlum:

Please God, let me meet her. All I want to is to find that perfect girl I know exists. She’s sweet and shy and my age and likes all the things I do, perhaps even is on this site itself. The girl who won’t secretly think I’m a loser, the girl I can cuddle with (even if only possible online) and spent nights talking to and laughing and sharing happiness. Someone who can reciprocate the love I put in, the girl who I can make feel safe and secure unconditionally and can fill this gaping, empty void in my heart.
Please, just let me find this person. I’ll change everything about me if that’s what it takes Please, I just can’t take the loneliness anymore.

summerlum:

Please God, let me meet her. All I want to is to find that perfect girl I know exists. She’s sweet and shy and my age and likes all the things I do, perhaps even is on this site itself. The girl who won’t secretly think I’m a loser, the girl I can cuddle with (even if only possible online) and spent nights talking to and laughing and sharing happiness. Someone who can reciprocate the love I put in, the girl who I can make feel safe and secure unconditionally and can fill this gaping, empty void in my heart.
Please, just let me find this person. I’ll change everything about me if that’s what it takes Please, I just can’t take the loneliness anymore.